Tired...

The 'sian-ness' is back. I sigh almost wherever I go. I am in this stage of life, where I am hanging, neither here nor there. Almost 4 months have past, since I've completed national service. Its time for me to move on to the so called next stage of life. Its either to continue to study or work. If I am to pursue a degree, I have no idea at all what to study. I just don't know what my interest is!! What is wrong with me!!! Finally, temping at a before after school care center, found some interest in teaching. Tried applying for NIE, got rejected the first time. Tried a second, but still no reply after 1 month. Waiting is just so tiring.. such a turmoil.. Especially when there is so certainty to the thing you are waiting for.. I am so tired of waking, eating, sleeping.. So tired of trying to be right with God but keeping failing over and over again. I am not doing what God wants me to.. Am I one of those kingdom subject to be thrown out? God help me..